STARBURST VS. GUINNESS

On December 30th, 2006, one of the great questions that has been pondered for years will be answered.  Two gladiators will enter a competition that few dare consider.  It will test the boundaries of space and time and take the two combatants to extremes they have never encountered.  Starting at 6PM and going until 10PM, the two will eat and drink until one reigns supreme.  There can be only one winner.

The rules are simple.  For every twelve starburst (one pack) that is eaten, one 12 ounce Guinness bottle must be drank.  At the end of the four hours, whoever has consumed more will be declared the winner.  A reversal of fortune results in a disqualification.  The wives of the competitors will each have a white towel to throw in and end the competition.  Nurses and doctors will be present to monitor the situation.

THE COMPETITORS

Derek "Sweet Intentions" Lloyd	NAME	Dimitri "The Russian Bear" Sokolik
	PICTURE
5'7"	HEIGHT	5'11"
140 LBS.	WEIGHT	155 LBS.
29	AGE	28

THE RESULTS

After setting a fast and furious pace, the competitors slowed.  When they started again, it was the Russian Bear that took control and went on to victory when Sweet Intentions threw in the towel, a humiliating defeat.  The final score: 9-5.

What will next year bring...